I don't believe in coincidence. It think that there are things that happen in our lies for a reason and often there is a message to be learned. But irony is not lost on me either. Never in my life has irony played such a devastating role, begging for attention and forgiveness. Forgiveness, what keeps weighing on my mind today as I process through the massive changes and life altering events of the last twelve hours.
Last night my mom and I watched "Safe Haven" the movie made from the book by Nicholas Sparks. I hadn't known what the movie was about before hitting the play button on Netflix, but it soon became apparent that the film revolved around a woman who had fled from an abusive marriage. Today I ran in a race, one whose proceeds went to assist families in escaping from domestic violence situations and raise awareness about DV. And this morning we received phone calls that would change our world. Some one whom I dearly love is currently fighting for her life. Some one who, nearly fifteen years ago took me in as another addition to her family, an extension in so many areas of my life, may not make it through the night.
There is no good segment in this story. And her tale is not mine to tell. I will not divulge much, but I will say that there are few innocent roles available in this play, and those are occupied by the children waiting at home. The children whose father is in jail, and whose mother is tethered to plastic tubing and life-sustaining machines. My heart is sick for them. My heart is sick for the family who loves her, and for those who have turned their backs because they didn't agree with her choices.
And I'm angry. I'm angry that those who should not leave her bedside are refusing to be there. I'm angry that those who should have stepped in, have not. I'm angry that there is a man who was never taught how to be a father/husband/friend, has now completed actions that will alter his life for eternity, and the lives of so many others. I'm angry that so many safeguards that should have helped, only hindered the situation and drove two people who had promised to love each other, instead to hate, deceit and physical and emotional pain.
And I wonder how to forgive. I wonder how to choose mercy and insist that my heart follow. I wonder how to pray and not feel guilty. Pray for healing for one, for forgiveness for the other. Praying for peace, on so many levels, for so many people. And I pray that other families don't have to face these horrendous days. I beg of you, if you are in an abusive relationship-find help. If you are being hurt by your partner or loved one, please leave. There are places and people who are willing and able to help you, with whatever you need. I know it is difficult. I know you may think that you don't deserve a happy life, or a new start. But you do. Everyone deserves to be safe. To be loved.
Resources available online:
Domestic Violence Resource
National Resource Center for Domestic Violence